As an American in Paris, people often say to me “You’re so lucky you live in France.” And, my reaction is always the same: “But, it’s not luck. It’s choice.” I didn’t wake up one day and find myself in this amazing city. I was persistent, resourceful and willing to take certain risks to achieve the life I want. This is of course an ongoing process that goes beyond living in France. I’ve never striven to be conventional because staying true to myself and living according to my own standards is one of my dearly-held personal values. To me, respect for personal choice is essential.

And that includes my choice not to have children.

In the childfree by choice debate there are common arguments against and in defense of this decision that touch on selfishness/selflessness, religious beliefs, and overpopulation. But, I’ll leave those topics for other guest bloggers. I want to focus on choice. To change the often expressed sentiment that choosing not to have children is in some way wrong, society must acknowledge and understand that it is a valid choice made by millions. In other words, we are not alone. Not by a long shot.

Childfree adults are socializing: Founded in 1984 in Vancouver BC by Jerry Steinberg, No Kidding! has over 40 chapters in 5 countries. Steinberg started No Kidding! when his search for social organizations and clubs for other adults without children turned up fruitless. Since then, No Kidding! has grown into a large and well-known international community in which childfree adults socialize and organize activities.

Childfree adults are networking online: The Childfree Life is a relatively new online community for adults without children. Members, with diverse backgrounds and beliefs, come here to discuss, debate, decide and meet others who have chosen the same lifestyle. Childfreechoice.org provides information, networking and forums for its many childfree members. While these two venues include adults who are, unfortunately, unable to have children, Childfree.net is exclusively for those who have intentionally chosen not to. Its sole purpose is to lift the stigma of choosing to be childfree.

Childfree adults are starting websites: In an effort to promote childfree by choice as an acceptable option and help others who have made this choice deal with some of the difficulties of living in a family friendly world, Happily Childfree offers opinions, resources and links of interest.

Now admittedly, some of the childfree organizations and sites might be considered a bit hardcore on this issue. And, I’m not trying to convince anyone to emulate my lifestyle. But the point is: we’re out there. Millions of adults who are living fulfilling and useful lives without children. The ultimate step in getting society to respect this choice is to convince those who are against it. But to get there, we have to first respect our own decision. And to hold true to those convictions, sometimes it helps to know that we are not alone.

To procreate or not? It’s by no means a choice to be made lightly. But, when made it’s a valid choice worthy of respect no matter which way a person comes down on the issue. “But you’d make such a great mother!” is an admonishment I often hear. I might also make a great brain surgeon and in doing so could help make the world a better place. But this, as well, is a path I have decided not to follow. Yet, no one begrudges me that.

Miss Part I? Check it out here.
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