Do you put your elbows on the table when you eat? Speak with your mouth full or arrive early to dinner parties? If so, you’re breaking all kinds of etiquette rules and might need assistance. “The purveyor of soft-skills” as she refers to herself, Nathalie Findlay, former model and television presenter, offers lifestyling services and presentation coaching and is, in truth, somewhat of an anomaly in the context of today’s social interactions.

A trained specialist in etiquette, self-branding, and other matters of lifestyle, Nathalie has built a successful business around a concept that, to most, is something of the past. In an age where the digital space has altered common codes of conduct and blurred our understanding of manners, the overarching idea of etiquette has been seemingly stripped of its former value. Findlay believes that no matter the context, proper lifestyling remains relevant in all personal and professional situations.

A longtime resident of Paris and the French countryside, she is the go-to girl for all things style and chic in the city and can tell you exactly what you should bring/wear/say/avoid at any French social function. Enlighten us, Nathalie….

Describe what you love about France in three words. Tradition, Elegance, Taste

French women: is their style and continuous state of chic really to be envied? I was heavily immersed into French culture before even setting foot on the soil.  The ‘standard’ of chic I was used to was often quite high: memories of twinsets and cashmere blend trousers worn with Chanel ballerina slippers abound. Needless to say, I had rather high expectations when I first arrived in France 15 years ago, and I was not disappointed.
I noticed that typically, French women owned fewer clothes than North Americans, but chose very classic items.  Though black and grey seemed to comprise about 90% of their winter wardrobe, accessorising and ‘styling’ was second nature to them and I’ve yet to find any other culture that does it quite as well.[I don’t just mean throwing on a scarf and clip-on earrings…  The same white shirt worn by some women can look uptight and formal but when worn a little wrinkled, opened a touch more and with a giant pendant and tightly rolled-up sleeves, it can look utterly sexy, especially when worn with gorgeous lingerie showing just enough to remain decent.]
15 years on, I now feel the playing field has been levelled somewhat by the arrival of the mass-market clothing chains (like Zara, Massimo Dutti, H&M, Mango etc…).  “Le Chic” has been un peu redefined.  Accessories still play a key role, but French women are now taking more risks with pattern, cut and colour because clothing is more…disposable. 
How have they managed to maintain their status as fashion icons?  Details and attitude.  Those who get it right manage to create a winning look from a mixture of classic and trends and a fair dose of ‘culot’.
It’s up to you to decide whether you think this is to be envied.  One thing is for certain: French style is easily achievable!  To rival what can be considered today’s ‘French sense of chic’ I think women need to start by being more body conscious.  This means having an understanding of the key areas (and we all have them) one wants to conceal, and those to emphasize.  And then go flaunt!



Most surprising standard of French etiquette? France is the birthplace of etiquette and remains one of the few remaining bastions in the defence of chivalry.  It is a place in which precedence plays a vital role in business, a country in which it is considered very churlish to enter a shop without greeting everyone within and one in which letter closings can sometimes take half a page… then how, I ask, HOW is it possible that its good people will not stand aside and let a person alight from the metro or bus and queue-up before getting on?

How can men and women bring a touch of French style, both in fashion and interior design, home with them after their visit? That is easy!  In terms of fashion and furnishings, simple is always better.  Drop the gaudy patterns and favour fine, classical materials.  At home, mix and match antiques with modern furniture (still classic) and keep the colours in muted tones.  Shabby chic is very much the norm… items that look too new or polished may give the appearance that one is trying too hard.  Once the basics are sorted both at home and in the wardrobe, one can add flashy/original accessories, such as a coral chunky necklace or a wildly embroidered cushion.  For those pieces, a trip to an antique shop or the puces might be required, as well as a healthy dose of whimsy.

Best spot in Paris to see and be seen? For me, the best spots are those in which I am hardly seen at all… (shy). That said, having been to all the regular haunts in the past, the ‘in’ place for me these days is behind closed doors, or on a very short guestlist.  Hidden dinners, private clubs…  that sort of thing.  I don’t like a big crowd and I don’t like having to crane my neck to see who just walked in.  Private parties are always a welcome opportunity to discover venues and locations that are off the beaten track, like châteaux near the city and hotels particuliers: treasure troves concealed behind a rather unexciting façade.

For a traveller or a newcomer to Paris, though, I would recommend:

For party-people: Bagatelle or Petit Chalet Entre Amis. 
For the elegant and branché: Annual events such as the Prix de Diane, Le bal de Paris and the White Dinner if you can score an invitation.
For food lovers: I just discovered Septime, which was a great treat.  Of course all the well known gastronomic restaurants are a must as well, but order something you wouldn’t cook for yourself otherwise it’s no fun (and it’ll ruin your taste for whatever it is you make).
For shopping: call me, I’ll take you!

Favorite French novel or film? 
I think it’s quite important to watch several films of ‘La Nouvelle Vague’, and classical literature: Camus, Sartre, Proust or Pagnol.  I’ve got about three books on the go at any given time so picking favourites is far too challenging.  One tip, however: no matter what your level of spoken French, read the book in the language in which it was written, even if it means starting with Le Petit Prince.

Excellent advice, Nathalie! She is quite possibly one of the most humorous people I follow on Twitter and her advice is always spot-on. She’s very responsive to questions, so I highly suggest you follow her and address her your questions! If you feel comfortable in French, she also maintains a French twitter account – Bonne Manières – that I recommend as well.  Of course, if you find yourself in France and in need of a little coaching, consider her many services.

{Photos courtesy of Nathalie Findlay}