Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions? You’re in action but you’re not really… there? Last night I found myself walking through the Paris metro (or rather herded with the rest of the sheep as they shuffled along the urine-stenched corridors), unable to feel my legs moving. I know I was walking, but I felt as though I was being carried without exerting any of my own energy. I was visibly lost in thought, unbreakable even by the sounds of laughter and aggressive pardon‘s roaring around me. It wasn’t until I inadvertently slammed into a hurried and severely irritable commuter that I snapped out of my daze.

More and more this seems to be happening. I’m walking, commuting, or running and can’t feel myself moving – it makes me feel like a kid again. From what I can manage to remember of toddler-life, all the running, jumping, hopping, skipping and sliding seemed effortless, made possible by a force greater than me. Back then, I was undoubtedly focused on something trivial – a toy, a snack, a movie, a person – whereas now, what grips my attention, is much less tangible yet significantly more distracting.

I’m lost in a million different thoughts, hopes, plans, wishes, goals and concerns at all times which makes me feel like my body is only going through the motions. A part of me longs to be an inquisitive carefree child again, like the little guy above, always on the move and always investigating the world around him without getting lost in too many thoughts. Another part of me knows that what I’m living now is so much more exciting and meaningful. So where’s the in-between? Getting lost in the clouds is perfectly fine from time to time but I want to feel that I’m in control. How do you come back down while holding onto some of that childlike blitheness?