This week’s guest post comes from a good friend of mine from Philadelphia who asked to remain anonymous. Let’s call her… Bailey Quinn. Bailey is a successful entrepreneur, gorgeous mother of 2, and one of the wisest women I know. Since we often have chats where I lay out all the drama I’m going through in my life and she calms my nerves with unparalleled grace and wit by calling it at she sees it. The curse of the twenties! That being said, she wanted to share some of her wisdom with us with “10 pieces of advice she should have given herself in her twenties”. I’m sure we can all identify with at least a few.
1. Don’t date Aaron – There is always that guy or girl that just doesn’t seem right. You know immediately that it will eventually end on a bad note, but you go with it anyway. The suspicions arise out of many chance encounters or behavior witnessed over a variable period of time. It may be the fact that he is thirty and still enjoys cartoons in the mornings or that he seems suspiciously chummy with a few select male friends. My advice to you is, don’t date him/her. You will hate the mental flashbacks later in life.
2. Don’t Harass Your Boyfriend – Yes, we all have biological clocks ladies. But hinting and pushing a man that can barely afford his XBOX habit to marry you is not a good move. When it comes to men, its not how they feel about you, rather its how they feel about THEMSELVES when they are around you. So when it comes to marriage, there is no need to hint. The fastest way to get the ring is to NEVER TALK ABOUT IT!
3. Purses Are Not Forever – I wish someone would have slapped me when I was purchasing my signature Burberry bag in 2003. As it collects dust on the top shelf of my closet, it serves as a reminder of how signature designer bags are the devil. They convince you that you are fabulous until a new bag comes out.
4. 20s You Learn, 30s You Earn – I stole that from Ivanka Trump, but it is so true. I hated every job that I had in my 20s. Having a manager, going to boring meetings, pointless conference calls and office politics were never any fun to me. But they did teach me how to navigate through various situations that I still deal with today. My manager Deb from my first job out of college taught me that even your manager can be jealous of you, so I learned humility. At a different job, my manager Chad taught me that even though they say that they want you to ask questions, it really means, sit here and listen to me talk and don’t ask questions. At the same job, one of the VPs taught me that making money is the primary objective of any company no matter what their corporate culture dictates. One manager showed, by example, that volunteering for every task and/project while pretending like you have everything in your life under control makes you look crazy. Having experienced each one of these scenarios, and making tons of mistakes at each job, helped shape my career and future. So while you may wind up hating all of your managers, they will all teach you something that you will benefit you in the future.
5. Nobody Cares About Your Wedding – When you finally get engaged remember that this may be YOUR special day, but to everyone else it’s a party with an open bar. Remember this the next time you are having a meltdown about party favors and bridesmaid dresses. Focus on strengthening your relationship during this time, so that when everyone else hates you, you will at least have your husband on your side.
6. Travel Until the Wheels Of Your Suitcase Fall Off – If you are in your twenties, chances are your life is about to ramp up with more responsibilities than you could even fathom. Even though you are broke, sharing an apartment, eating soup and cereal while saving for a pair of Christian Louboutins, I seriously encourage you to get your passport and get out of the country. Create memories now while you don’t have to compromise on location or have to find a babysitter.
7. Write Your Business Plan Today – You will never have any kind of freedom unless you work for yourself. While you are plugging away at your job thinking, “college over-prepared me for this crap”, start working on the framework of your future business, whatever that may be. Once you have identified you weaknesses, make them a part of your current job’s “developmental plan”. Take all of the classes and training modules that you need on your company’s dime. You should squeeze every bit of knowledge and network with everyone you can. Why should they be the only ones to benefit from the relationship?
8. Save More Money – Every piece of clothing, pair of shoes, accessory and product that I died to have, thinking that my life would be all the more sweeter and better, never lived up to the expectation. Reckless spending is for rich people. Regular working class folks need to save and invest. It may take away from the fabulous life that you are trying to lead, but being broke and homeless isn’t a good look either.
9. Some Bridges Must Be Burned – Face it, a lot of your friends are jealous of you. They hate you and want nothing good to happen to you in life ever. You know who these people are. So stop talking to them.
10. There Is Nothing Better Than Sitting On Your Own Toilet Seat – Spending countless hours at your significant other’s house, while you throw rent out the window is pointless. Get a life! Start a new hobby. Don’t get to the point where your life is all about him. Besides, you know that you will never do a #2 at his place this early in the relationship anyway. So you may as well go home and finish that book that you left next to your own commode.
Bailey Quinn is a 30ish wife, mother and entrepreneur who lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia . She is glad that she is not in her twenties and enjoys private time in her own bathroom. She has never been to Cheeseland and won’t get there until she convinces her husband and finds a sitter.
