Why is it that we allow ourselves to be defined by our professions? Are passions, interests, talents and personality traits not more indicative of who we are as individuals than what we do to bring home the bacon? Some people are lucky. Lucky to know what they want to be, what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Maybe there aren’t many of such people but it sure feels like there are. I’m definitely not one of them. I’m envious of those with a clear path. The ones that can say: I want to be a doctor. I get into med school, have 8 years sucked out of me, become a doctor, make money and know that in 5 years I’ll probably still be a doctor (replace doctor with lawyer, engineer, professional athlete, teacher, etc.)

The field of Communications, which is more of a creative profession with limitless directions, does not provide such a clear path. Major in Communications, go into: journalism, advertising, branding, PR, marketing, business, writing, publishing, editing, broadcasting, production, professional blogging, wandering aimlessly through life, selling crap online.

Creative minds need constant stimulation. I’m not suggesting that doctors and lawyers can’t be creative but how often do you read a really enthralling piece of creative writing by a gynecologist? Just saying. Some people do well with lots of options, but to get started in a profession where there is a multiplicity of choice, I find it overwhelming. If we weren’t defined by our professions we wouldn’t dread the question “so you’ve finished school, did you get a job yet? Oh, you’re working in a restaurant. Well that’s nice… *cue look of disdain*” or “oh, you’re working in sales…”. Doctors, lawyers and engineers typically don’t get these questions because it’s obvious what they’re doing and who they are. I’m sure this issue only bothers me because my personal path is unclear, undetermined and under scrutiny. Obviously not all Communications professionals struggle with this dilemma. And yes, I’m envious of the people that find stellar jobs 2 months after finishing undergrad while those with master’s struggle to find themselves and their place in the world. Why should we be looked down upon if we end up in a field unrelated to our degree, albeit a master’s degree? Because we used all our savings to put ourselves through school? Or because society puts on the pressure to know precisely what we want to do with our lives? Clearly, I would have failed at life as a French child.

A girl I know spent 2 months working in sales after finishing undergrad before landing her dream job with a renowned luxury company. How did she do it during an economic meltdown? Maybe she’s just that brilliant, qualified and driven. Or MAYBE it’s luck. This takes me to my next point of contention, the subjectivity of luck. From my perspective, this girl is lucky and I’m admittedly envious. Envious because she doesn’t have a master’s, didn’t have to struggle, and is probably well on her way to a lucrative career where doors will open automatically. On paper, I want her job. Yet she will probably work like a dog, travel constantly, have difficulty maintaining close friendships and romantic relationships and resent signing her life over to corporate America. But naturally that’s not what occupies my mind. Why is THIS girl lucky? Why not me?

Well a good friend of mine whom I will call Doc, said to me “um, did you ever think that people would look at your life and say, damn she’s so lucky! She found a man, got married, lives in Paris and lives in a great apartment in an up-and-coming section of the city!”. No, I didn’t think of that and I’m ashamed of my negativity. Such is the nature of luck and envy I guess. Regardless, it’s all relative. My biggest personal battle is being content with what I’ve got. Lindsey sent me a yogajournal article about what we are actually experiencing when we feel envy and much to my dismay, it described me completely. Envy is the label for not quite feeling good enough. A feeling of inadequacy. I don’t know how some people escape it (The Sarah and Vinnie San Francisco radio show cited 50% of women feel jealous). It’s self-destructive to constantly feel overshadowed in the presence of a friend who has qualities you want and yet the solution may be as simple as reciting to yourself “what qualities do I possess that others wish they had?”. But it’s the curse of “why them and not me?” that eats away at your judgment and sense of resolve. The reality is that someone will always be better than you, you just hope that someone won’t be your friend….

All of this is to say, if we weren’t automatically defined by our professions (and our degrees for that matter) we’d all probably experience significantly less envy and pressure to become something or someone that others will deem impressive, aspirational or meaningful. Isn’t life hard enough without all that?